Free time is often just a painful, painful illusion when you’re a teacher. You’re always walking that fine line of “okay, I have this thing I really want to do, BUT I totally have to do lesson plans and have materials ready for tomorrow”. You basically end up learning how to run on very little sleep and begrudgingly accepting that your free time is going to be a lot less than you’d like it to be (exhibit A: my fic output over the past few months when I was teaching my high school class). On the plus side, though, the free time that you DO have ends up being really, really meaningful and sustaining if you do it right. It’s just a matter of finding the balance.
Teaching is basically continuous frustration on a daily basis with occasional bright glimpses of satisfaction when you see a student finally grasp a difficult concept, or write a beautifully-moving paper that demonstrates to you just how much they’re capable of, or you get to see their slow and steady progress through a class and know that you’re making a difference.
You learn to live for those glimpses. They’re all we have as teachers to sustain us sometimes.
I really, really wish I had a good answer for this one, anon, but rebounds are one of those things that you kind of have to gauge on a case-by-case basis. Some people are really good at the whole ‘find a new person to get over the old person’ deal and end up having amazing relationships that technically started as ‘rebounds,’ while others just kind of slot someone into the relationship role while still pining after what they’ve lost. It’s very delicate sometimes. :\
What I can say is, if you’re worried about getting burned in a rebound deal… just take it slow, pace yourself, and keep your eyes open. Don’t be paranoid and fearful, because few things’ll sink a potential relationship faster, but be just careful enough. Don’t rush into anything, and take the time to get to know him before you really give your heart away. Easier said than done, I know (believe me), but that’s really the best advice I can give you on this one. Best of luck to you. *hugs*
Guy’s a dick. Talk to your friend, and be honest with her — if she’s not a totally suck friend, she’ll understand that it was an honest mistake, and she may even tell you why the guy’s an ex and not a current and make you feel better about the fact that you found out before you really got attached to him.
See, here’s the thing, anon. If you had just broken a bone, would your parents tell you to just pray more and hope it heals straight? I mean, if they would, that’s another problem altogether, but… when you have a mental disorder, it’s not just a case of ‘changing your mindset’ or trying to have a more positive outlook. If that’s all it was, none of us would have them. It’s just not that easy. The vast majority of mental disorders are the result of physically altered brain chemistry, not just a case of negative thinking. It’s not something you can “snap out of” like turning off a light switch.
Sometimes in cases like this, your best line of attack can be logical evidence. I don’t know what disorder you think you might have, but if I were in your position with difficult/skeptical parents, I’d pull together all the information about the disorder and its signs and symptoms I absolutely could and calmly discuss the ones that you think you’re manifesting with them. I mean, cognitive dissonance is an amazing thing, but it’s generally harder to refute something when it’s right there in black and white in front of you.
If your parents are being difficult, though, I do hope you have someone else you trust that you’d feel comfortable talking to: another family member, a teacher, a counselor… someone who might be able to get you the help you need and/or help bring your parents around. Mental disorders don’t get better just by praying or wishing or hoping — they often require a ton of work, professional help, and self-care and -management in order to handle them successfully. I really hope you get that, anon, and that your parents assist you in whatever way you need them to — hang in there. *hugs*
EVERYONE TO MY HOUSE FOR A BATB SLEEPOVER NIGHT
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GROWN WOMAN WHO WILL INEVITABLY BE SOBBING DURING THE BALLROOM SCENE
For your own sanity, you might want to put a little bit of distance in between you. I mean, obviously you care about them, so I wouldn’t stop hanging out with them entirely, but if you can, try to give yourself some space. It’s hard enough trying to get over a crush without being reminded on a daily basis of what you can’t have. :\
If you figure it out, let me know, anon.
It’d have to be Beauty and the Beast. Still my favorite and, honestly, what I consider to be the most “complete” Disney soundtrack ever. You had the dream team of Alan Menken and Howard Ashman at the absolute top of their game, one of the purest animated adaptations of Broadway storytelling through song to ever hit the screen, gorgeous leitmotifs, soaring reprises, and some of the best lyrical work in a Disney film. BatB was Howard Ashman’s baby, and it shows. It absolutely shows. And there will never, ever be another man like him.
Excuse me. *weeps openly*
Baaaasically just try to read his body language, his actions, see if he’s flirting back with you, if he’s trying to spend more time with you… try to see if he’s giving you any signals at all that he’s interested. Now, admittedly, he may completely suck at giving those signals, because a lot of people are shy or self-conscious (*raises hand*), but if you’re keeping a close eye out, you should be able to spot ‘em if they’re there.
I’m probably the worst person to ask on this one because I always end up telling someone I like them too early or not saying it at all because I am a super-awkward turtle and really, really bad at dating. BUT I’d recommend gauging the situation — try to measure and see if he might be receptive, if he might sort-of like you back… that sort of thing. And leave yourself pleeeenty of room to back out/play it off as a joke if it doesn’t quite work out. That’s the best advice I’ve got on that one. ^^;
Time, anon. Just give it time. I know that sounds trite, and I’ve literally thrown stuff at people who told me that I just had to ride it out when I’ve been in similar situations where I pretty much had to ‘force’ myself to stop caring about someone that way… but there’s really no way to heal that kind of thing other than just taking care of yourself, finding healthy ways to distract yourself, and just kind of focusing your mind elsewhere until enough time has passed that it’s lessened. Really, really wish there was a better answer… but if there is, I’m not aware of it. It’s all about time.
(…and booze. Time and booze.)